Self-care and growth can look like a lot of things, like gardening, pedicures and praying but it can also look like having hard conversations with yourself. You know what I’m talking about. Those “real talk” sessions where you stop sweeping your honest thoughts and feelings under the rug, trying to keep them hidden away, and instead lay them all out there and taking stock of what’s going on inside.
Here are a few things to ask to get the “real-talk“ conversation going:
How do I feel about myself?
Why is this event/person triggering to me?
What is my body saying?
What is my ego saying?
When did I start feeling this way?
What do I need right now?
How can I move forward in a way that’s healthy for me?
In what ways can I show myself compassion as I work through this?
These moments are where you not only learn more about yourself but you also kind of breathe and release into it all. You are putting down the heavy weight of pretense in that moment and it’s so damn freeing. You may even notice that once you do that your breathing starts to feel easier with the actual breaths becoming fuller.
Once you see yourself for who you are you feel a sense of acceptance and compassion. You are acknowledging that everything isn’t perfect but confirming that it doesn’t have to be. You are aware that there is work to be done but you’ve also started the process by giving yourself space to say “hey, I’m doing my best and used the tools I had as well as I could up to this point.”
You feel safe to start releasing old mindsets that are holding you securely in place. And it’s not about how “bad” or “mean” you are to have those mindsets but about how courageous you are for recognizing, acknowledging and committing to doing better.
Self-Care can be everything you need without beating yourself up to get it. Once you understand that being real doesn’t have to look like abusive pattens you may have grown accustomed to it allows you to open up with less intimidation and more acceptance.